From a work perspective at scale, most of us are in 9-5 jobs. I’m completely aligned with the mismatch of that working style with what we’re better tuned to (sprinting and resting/extremes vs consistent low/mid stress).
Since most people are going to be in that 9-5 system, it makes the outside of work exponentially more important for our growth. With this in mind, I find calling out avoiding present day comforts and seeking adversity (usually through hard workouts) to be the most actionable way for the standard 9-5 person to improve and be happier.
Avoid/decrease: high phone screen time, social media, Netflix/streaming, unhealthy processed foods, staying indoors, couch/sedentary time, alcohol/drugs
Prioritize/increase: time in nature/outdoors, steps, hard workouts, reading/writing, contrast therapy, etc.
But how can we do this if we have to work at our 9-5 jobs or go to school with additional schoolwork/study to do at home?
There already goes 8-10 hours of our day to work that doesn’t satisfy us, but there’s not really a feasible option to quit it in the near future. Just spending 8 hours at school everyday drains me physically, mentally and intellectually and leaves no energy to spend on working on the things I love. Plus, I have to spend 1-2 hours at home just for homework, not even for studying when I have exams coming up. + I have other responsibilities I have to take care of. It drives me crazy not working on the things I really love creating. School drains me so much and goes against my intuition and goals. I only have ~8 months left until I graduate, but it’s driving me crazy.
Sending you virtual support here... I stressed out so much that my hair started falling out at one point. Do little things that light you up, make them non-negotiables (for me this was walking, the gym, reading at night), and remind yourself this is temporary. Your creative streak will come full force once you graduate. And like Will said, pull the levers you can, if have a 20 minute window then use that for jotting ideas, or using it as a small creative outlet.
Focus on what is in your control. You obviously don’t have a ton of energy or free time given your school obligations right now. Reading a piece like this can be overwhelming because it sounds so drastic and not possible for you.
Scale it down. I commented above in a similar vein on what to focus on for those whose have a majority of hours going to 9-5 or school.
Question: (spoken humbly) why are you spending so much time doing what you state gives little pleasure and is contrary to what you want to do? (I don’t expect you to answer this in public, just to consider it.)
Hopefully you’re talking about high school and not a college program. If it’s college, you can drop out and stop going against your goals/intuition. If it’s high school… just enjoy the ride for now… and maybe put in minimal effort so it’s not so draining. The future is the creator economy, so don’t worry too much about getting bad marks. (Of course, depends on your goals/intuition).
The idea that balance is the goal is itself a symptom of drift. Nature doesn’t operate on static equilibrium, it runs on rhythm: tides, seasons, light and dark. Modern life flattens those contrasts into endless sameness, so no wonder people feel numb. The cure isn’t moderation, it’s restoring the cycles that make experience vivid.
The Illusion of “Work–Life Balance”. Maybe there’s no separation to “balance”. If consciousness is continuous, isn’t business just another arena of spiritual practice? What if compartmentalising is the real trap.
The assumption that those who seek work-balance being done out of hate for their jobs is an uninformed generalized claim. It is important for anyone, even those who love their job, to still leave room for family, relationships, leisure, and rest which are all part of a work-life balance.
I will argue that the opposite is true. Those who love their job need balance the most.
If you have built a job for yourself that aligns with your values and passions – protect it. Extremes are not sustainable. There will be a breaking point if you focus all of your energy on work. No matter how much you love it, work is still work. It is taxing on your mind and body. Burnout will creep onto anybody, no exceptions, if you don't create balance. Once you burnout, your work will crumble in a downwards spiral. Your work relies on your wellbeing.
Balance does not equal mediocrity. A balanced life is a fruitful life. It is a privilege to have room for curiosities outside of work.
If you make the argument that those who seek work-life balance do so because they hate their work, then you must also argue that those who avoid work-life balance do so because they hate their life outside of work.
All of this to say, it is hypocritical that this article is coming from a man claiming to only work 4 hours a day, which doesn't seem like the schedule of someone who doesn't want work-life balance.
I'm so glad you commented on this. While I wanted so much to agree with the article, I found this terror deep down that I will never be able to achieve this so-called flow in any field I could go into, and that I will simply have to be my own boss and create that life that I want - one that allows for work and play and rest - from scratch...I recently quit my high-burnout job as a child welfare worker to pursue something with more balance. If I must participate in society, I must have a source of income, and, until I can be a world-famous author or public speaker or influencer or what have you, I need something for right now that doesn't kill me. I am in the process of negotiating a salaried job that might actually allow the flexibility for me to create great change within a structured corporate format. I believe anything is possible, and this article kind of knocked me off my confidence horse, throwing me into the ring of thought that says that, in order to have what I want in life, I must create something completely new, which takes SO MUCH effort...why not work within the structured confines of something that already exists if we can find it? Careers have been around for a long time. It is reasonable to think that there IS balance to be had in unconventional places. And to me, balance simply means I am doing a vocation I love AND maintaining my mental and physical health. That doesn't mean I don't work and play hard, or have to function completely outside the confines of the typical or expected. Anyway, this gave me a lot of food for thought on what it is that I truly value and seek. Thanks!
### Why "Work-Life Balance" Misses the Mark: A Contrast Between Modern Duality and Advaita Vedanta's Non-Dual Wisdom
#### You Need Transcendence, Not Just Extremes, for a Truly Zestful Life
In a recent article, writer Dan Koe argues that "work-life balance" is a trap that dooms people to mediocrity. He contends that the very idea stems from hating one's work, a hangover from industrial-era conditioning where jobs were soul-crushing necessities. Koe dismisses balance as a diluted state, advocating instead for "contrast"—oscillating extremes like intense work followed by deep rest, disciplined eating punctuated by indulgence, or solitude balanced by connection. This dynamic interplay, he says, mirrors nature's rhythms (creation/destruction, high/low tides) and the yin-yang duality, where each pole enhances the other, fostering appreciation and zest. Modern comforts, in his view, act as addictive "drugs" that numb us, so we must simulate adversity (e.g., fasting, digital detoxes) to reset our sensitivity and live vibrantly within life's dualities.
Koe's perspective is compelling for navigating the practicalities of modern life. It encourages rejecting passive equilibrium in favor of purposeful intensity, turning potential drudgery into meaningful cycles. Yet, this approach remains firmly rooted in duality—the very separation of work from life, effort from ease, pleasure from pain—that Advaita Vedanta, the non-dual philosophy of the Upanishads, identifies as the root of all suffering and illusion. Where Koe sees duality as a natural, exploitable rhythm to optimize for enjoyment, Advaita teaches that duality itself is a product of ignorance (avidya), an illusory superimposition on the singular, eternal reality of Brahman (the ultimate Self). Embracing contrast may spice up life temporarily, but it perpetuates the cycle of seeking fulfillment in opposites, delaying the true liberation of realizing non-duality.
To understand this disagreement, consider the core of Advaita Vedanta: The Upanishads, ancient texts like the Brihadaranyaka, Chandogya, and Mandukya, assert that reality is advaita—one without a second. The apparent world of multiplicity (dvaita) arises not from any inherent rhythm but from ignorance, where the mind, veiled by maya (cosmic illusion), mistakes the indivisible Self (Atman) for a fragmented ego entangled in binaries. As the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (1.4.10) explains: "In the beginning, this (universe) was but the self, in the form of a person... He reflected and found nothing else but himself." Creation seems to unfold into duality—self/other, work/life—but it's all a projection of the one Self. Ignorance causes this split: We identify with the body-mind complex, chasing external balances or contrasts, unaware that the seer and the seen are identical. The Chandogya Upanishad (6.8.7) drives this home: "That which is the subtle essence, in it all that exists has its self. It is the True. It is the Self, and thou, O Svetaketu, art it." Duality, then, is not a dynamic force to harness but a delusion born of not knowing our true nature; transcending it through knowledge (vidya) dissolves all opposites, revealing unchanging bliss (ananda).
Koe's call for extremity rewards the brain with novelty and progress, making life "enjoyable" through neuroplasticity and dopamine resets. But Advaita would counter that this is still playing within the realm of the mind's fluctuations—vrtti—where joy depends on contrast, and thus remains conditional and fleeting. True zest isn't amplified by oscillating between highs and lows; it's the steady peace of the non-dual Self, beyond the need for stimulation. The Mandukya Upanishad describes four states of consciousness: waking (gross duality), dreaming (subtle duality), deep sleep (unity without awareness), and turiya (pure consciousness, transcending all). Duality dominates the first three due to ignorance, but turiya reveals no work-life divide because there's no "other" to balance against. Simulating adversity, as Koe suggests, might build resilience in the illusory world, but the Upanishads urge inquiry (vichara) and surrender (sharanagati) to pierce the veil: "Neti neti" (not this, not that), negating all dual phenomena until only the One remains.
#### The Illusion of Contrast: Why Duality's "Rhythm" Is Born of Ignorance
Koe draws on yin-yang to portray duality as essential—happiness inconceivable without sadness, each containing the seed of its opposite. This dynamic rhythm, he argues, turns bland existence into zestful appreciation: Rest deepens after accomplishment, food delights after restraint. Nature exemplifies it, from tides to sleep-wake cycles, and humans thrive by mimicking this through artificial scarcity (e.g., monk mode, cold exposure).
From the Advaita lens, however, this romanticizes the very ignorance the Upanishads seek to uproot. Duality isn't a cosmic dance but a cognitive error: Avidya causes the mind to project separation, like mistaking a rope for a snake in dim light. The Katha Upanishad (1.2.11) warns: "The good and the pleasant approach man; the wise chooses the good over the pleasant." Chasing contrasts—good/pleasant, work/rest—keeps one bound to samsara (the cycle of birth and death), where fulfillment is always "one more high" away. The Upanishads explain that ignorance veils the non-dual Brahman, leading to the ego's false sense of doership: "I work, I rest, I balance." In truth, as the Taittiriya Upanishad (2.1.1) states, "From this Self (Atman) comes space; from space comes air... up to the person (purusha)." All arises from and returns to the One; seeing duality as "rhythm" sustains the illusion, preventing the direct realization that ends all seeking.
Koe's examples—intense training for deeper recovery, solitude for richer connections—enhance worldly enjoyment but don't address the root dissatisfaction: the innate pull toward wholeness misdirected into dual pursuits. Advaita doesn't deny the world's rhythms; it reveals them as lila (divine play) within the non-dual, but insists on discrimination (viveka) to see beyond. Ignorance makes us addicts to contrast's highs, just as Koe notes modern "comfort drugs" (endless scrolling, junk food) numb us. Yet, the Upanishadic cure isn't more extremes but self-inquiry: "Who am I?"—dissolving the subject-object divide.
#### Beyond Comfort and Adversity: The Non-Dual Path to Lasting Freedom
Koe astutely critiques modern addictions—technology's dopamine traps that erode sensitivity, turning euphoria banal and progress undesirable. He prescribes "artificial adversity" to hunt like lions, not graze like cows: Deprive to appreciate, burst to rest, leveraging tools not for numbness but vitality.
Advaita agrees that modernity amplifies ignorance, scattering the mind further from Self-realization. But where Koe simulates scarcity to reclaim control within duality, the Upanishads teach that true control is freedom from the controller. Ignorance (avidya) isn't just partial knowledge but non-apprehension of the real—Brahman—as the Prasna Upanishad (4.9) implies: "That which sees, hears, smells, tastes... that is the Self." Duality fades when ignorance lifts; no need for manufactured contrasts because bliss is inherent, not earned. Practices like meditation on "Aham Brahmasmi" (I am Brahman, from Brihadaranyaka 1.4.10) transcend adversity altogether, revealing that work, life, pleasure, pain are mere appearances on the screen of consciousness.
In essence, Koe's framework empowers within the dream; Advaita's awakens from it. Balance ruins life by diluting potential, contrast enlivens it temporarily—but ignorance ruins it eternally by hiding the non-dual joy that's always here. The Upanishads invite: Discern, inquire, realize. Six months from now, you might not just zestfully contrast; you might abide in unchanging peace.
Thank you for reading this contrast. For deeper dives into Advaita, explore the Upanishads directly.
For anyone that resonates with this, I recommend Seneca's "On the Shortness of Life". It discusses the idea that life is only short for those who don't know how to spend it. People often spend too much time on shallow distractions, though life could be more fulfilling if you are more intentional and meaningful with your time.
There were plenty examples to define what a contrast and extreme life means. There is no definition of what balance means, simply equating it to mediocre.
The attack on the balance life was really an attack on the mediocre life. Mediocre has a very clear and narrow meaning while balance is more open to interpretation.
In my interpretation, the state when work, play, and rest blur together is the state of balance.
I might disagree on what balance means - for me, it doesn’t mean mediocre. That said, I mostly align with the principles in the article.
What I find in your content is seemingly interesting and make sense but at the same time 9 to 5 job has become an integral part of most of the people in this world especially the middle class people they are used to it or they are made to perceive it as the way of life generations after generations and they seem to be quite happy with this mode of work life. No complaints whatsoever by and large it is seen by all of us. Apart from this there is little choice left before them to choose from, as better job, higher pay, comfortable work atmosphere devoid of office politics and other impediments, are out of their reach as those are associated with expensive higher education from famous universities are unaffordable for the so called middle class people, and to say the popular adage " happiness is a state of mind". Irrespective of social status or economic background of a person concerned. So if a particular person has a special traits he will be forced ( mentally) to persue his passion no matter how rich he may be from his present dispensation. That's rare but majority are entangled with 9 to 5, without any noticeable remores on their faces. Again I admit 9 to 5 is stereotype and most hackneyed but this is life , one has to accept it gracefully.
I agree with the Hunter-gatherer framing of environments. It forces thought, creativity, innovation, but only by choosing this path with the capability to select the most relevant "field" to the hunter, with a sincere willingness to expand risk/comfort zone to grow.
Far, far too has the social expectancy become about securing a "nice, comfortable life". And there is nothing inherently wrong with that aim; the economic-commercial dynamics of availability and desire necessarily allow for some level of material comfort, but we've also created new crisis's because of this.
Dan, I don’t believe this is out of balance - for someone like yourself.
If you think of balance in terms of systems theory, you can have extremes, but they need to be proportionate to your goals, values, health, and stage of life.
Balance isn’t a fixed point. Nor is it universal.
For the average person, extremes may not serve them well.
That doesn’t mean they’re destined for a mediocre life.
It just means their system is set up differently. They need a different approach.
Furthermore, if we don’t recognise that balance is crucial to longevity, burnout and breakdowns become inevitable - especially for people with more sensitive nervous systems.
And if we apply this to burnout…
The nervous system itself is a system.
Burnout is a breakdown in regulatory feedback.
It’s as much a biological experience as it is a mental one. Stress inputs overwhelm recovery outputs, and the system compensates until it can’t.
In my coaching practice, recovery is about restoring adaptive balance - not eliminating stress altogether or drowning it out with extremes.
If you think about life itself, we require balance-homeostasis not just to exist but to thrive.
A lot of people are sick because they’re chronically out of balance.
What a catchy and interesting concept! Are you associating balance with stagnation? Balance isnt alway boring or a lack of stimulation. Nature, for instance is not harmony... it's a brutal life-and-death struggle, but it IS a balance.
I'm lucky. My wife took a new role in Switzerland in July, with a 100% salary increase.
I'm 60, so I took a leap of faith, and quit my butcher management job in London. It's been harder than I thought, going from working with over 100 colleagues on a daily basis.
Now, I work alone, writing 5 times a week.
The first 2 months have been hard. Like Dan, I train in the gym for 5 hours, across the week, the solitude has been hard.
At the end of August, life is has become more enjoyable. I read posts on Substack and linkedin, participating in conversations.
And I look forward to my wife coming home to share her day with me.
I learned early that balance is a myth. In the kitchen of five-star hotels, during my apprenticeship, there was no such thing as “moderation.” Ten hours of chaos, burns, knives, insults, then the crash into silence when the shift was over. In the hospital, it was the same. Hours of intensity, then a sudden flatline, a heart lifted from a chest. No middle ground. Only extremes.
Dan is right: what we call balance often just hides the fact that we hate what we’re doing. But I’d add this, extremes are not about chasing productivity. They are about feeling life at full voltage. Hunger makes food sacred. Silence makes noise bearable. Death makes every heartbeat taste like eternity.
The mediocre middle? I’ve seen it too many times. Wealthy clients with everything money can buy, sitting down to meals that had lost all flavor. Their days were full, but their lives were empty. Not because they worked too hard, but because they stopped feeling the contrast that makes life real.
Balance comforts. Extremes transform. And in the end, it’s not about choosing work over life or life over work, it’s about daring to live where both collide, raw and unfiltered.
From a work perspective at scale, most of us are in 9-5 jobs. I’m completely aligned with the mismatch of that working style with what we’re better tuned to (sprinting and resting/extremes vs consistent low/mid stress).
Since most people are going to be in that 9-5 system, it makes the outside of work exponentially more important for our growth. With this in mind, I find calling out avoiding present day comforts and seeking adversity (usually through hard workouts) to be the most actionable way for the standard 9-5 person to improve and be happier.
Avoid/decrease: high phone screen time, social media, Netflix/streaming, unhealthy processed foods, staying indoors, couch/sedentary time, alcohol/drugs
Prioritize/increase: time in nature/outdoors, steps, hard workouts, reading/writing, contrast therapy, etc.
But how can we do this if we have to work at our 9-5 jobs or go to school with additional schoolwork/study to do at home?
There already goes 8-10 hours of our day to work that doesn’t satisfy us, but there’s not really a feasible option to quit it in the near future. Just spending 8 hours at school everyday drains me physically, mentally and intellectually and leaves no energy to spend on working on the things I love. Plus, I have to spend 1-2 hours at home just for homework, not even for studying when I have exams coming up. + I have other responsibilities I have to take care of. It drives me crazy not working on the things I really love creating. School drains me so much and goes against my intuition and goals. I only have ~8 months left until I graduate, but it’s driving me crazy.
Sending you virtual support here... I stressed out so much that my hair started falling out at one point. Do little things that light you up, make them non-negotiables (for me this was walking, the gym, reading at night), and remind yourself this is temporary. Your creative streak will come full force once you graduate. And like Will said, pull the levers you can, if have a 20 minute window then use that for jotting ideas, or using it as a small creative outlet.
Focus on what is in your control. You obviously don’t have a ton of energy or free time given your school obligations right now. Reading a piece like this can be overwhelming because it sounds so drastic and not possible for you.
Scale it down. I commented above in a similar vein on what to focus on for those whose have a majority of hours going to 9-5 or school.
Question: (spoken humbly) why are you spending so much time doing what you state gives little pleasure and is contrary to what you want to do? (I don’t expect you to answer this in public, just to consider it.)
Hopefully you’re talking about high school and not a college program. If it’s college, you can drop out and stop going against your goals/intuition. If it’s high school… just enjoy the ride for now… and maybe put in minimal effort so it’s not so draining. The future is the creator economy, so don’t worry too much about getting bad marks. (Of course, depends on your goals/intuition).
The idea that balance is the goal is itself a symptom of drift. Nature doesn’t operate on static equilibrium, it runs on rhythm: tides, seasons, light and dark. Modern life flattens those contrasts into endless sameness, so no wonder people feel numb. The cure isn’t moderation, it’s restoring the cycles that make experience vivid.
The Illusion of “Work–Life Balance”. Maybe there’s no separation to “balance”. If consciousness is continuous, isn’t business just another arena of spiritual practice? What if compartmentalising is the real trap.
Hard disagree on this one.
The assumption that those who seek work-balance being done out of hate for their jobs is an uninformed generalized claim. It is important for anyone, even those who love their job, to still leave room for family, relationships, leisure, and rest which are all part of a work-life balance.
I will argue that the opposite is true. Those who love their job need balance the most.
If you have built a job for yourself that aligns with your values and passions – protect it. Extremes are not sustainable. There will be a breaking point if you focus all of your energy on work. No matter how much you love it, work is still work. It is taxing on your mind and body. Burnout will creep onto anybody, no exceptions, if you don't create balance. Once you burnout, your work will crumble in a downwards spiral. Your work relies on your wellbeing.
Balance does not equal mediocrity. A balanced life is a fruitful life. It is a privilege to have room for curiosities outside of work.
If you make the argument that those who seek work-life balance do so because they hate their work, then you must also argue that those who avoid work-life balance do so because they hate their life outside of work.
All of this to say, it is hypocritical that this article is coming from a man claiming to only work 4 hours a day, which doesn't seem like the schedule of someone who doesn't want work-life balance.
I'm so glad you commented on this. While I wanted so much to agree with the article, I found this terror deep down that I will never be able to achieve this so-called flow in any field I could go into, and that I will simply have to be my own boss and create that life that I want - one that allows for work and play and rest - from scratch...I recently quit my high-burnout job as a child welfare worker to pursue something with more balance. If I must participate in society, I must have a source of income, and, until I can be a world-famous author or public speaker or influencer or what have you, I need something for right now that doesn't kill me. I am in the process of negotiating a salaried job that might actually allow the flexibility for me to create great change within a structured corporate format. I believe anything is possible, and this article kind of knocked me off my confidence horse, throwing me into the ring of thought that says that, in order to have what I want in life, I must create something completely new, which takes SO MUCH effort...why not work within the structured confines of something that already exists if we can find it? Careers have been around for a long time. It is reasonable to think that there IS balance to be had in unconventional places. And to me, balance simply means I am doing a vocation I love AND maintaining my mental and physical health. That doesn't mean I don't work and play hard, or have to function completely outside the confines of the typical or expected. Anyway, this gave me a lot of food for thought on what it is that I truly value and seek. Thanks!
### Why "Work-Life Balance" Misses the Mark: A Contrast Between Modern Duality and Advaita Vedanta's Non-Dual Wisdom
#### You Need Transcendence, Not Just Extremes, for a Truly Zestful Life
In a recent article, writer Dan Koe argues that "work-life balance" is a trap that dooms people to mediocrity. He contends that the very idea stems from hating one's work, a hangover from industrial-era conditioning where jobs were soul-crushing necessities. Koe dismisses balance as a diluted state, advocating instead for "contrast"—oscillating extremes like intense work followed by deep rest, disciplined eating punctuated by indulgence, or solitude balanced by connection. This dynamic interplay, he says, mirrors nature's rhythms (creation/destruction, high/low tides) and the yin-yang duality, where each pole enhances the other, fostering appreciation and zest. Modern comforts, in his view, act as addictive "drugs" that numb us, so we must simulate adversity (e.g., fasting, digital detoxes) to reset our sensitivity and live vibrantly within life's dualities.
Koe's perspective is compelling for navigating the practicalities of modern life. It encourages rejecting passive equilibrium in favor of purposeful intensity, turning potential drudgery into meaningful cycles. Yet, this approach remains firmly rooted in duality—the very separation of work from life, effort from ease, pleasure from pain—that Advaita Vedanta, the non-dual philosophy of the Upanishads, identifies as the root of all suffering and illusion. Where Koe sees duality as a natural, exploitable rhythm to optimize for enjoyment, Advaita teaches that duality itself is a product of ignorance (avidya), an illusory superimposition on the singular, eternal reality of Brahman (the ultimate Self). Embracing contrast may spice up life temporarily, but it perpetuates the cycle of seeking fulfillment in opposites, delaying the true liberation of realizing non-duality.
To understand this disagreement, consider the core of Advaita Vedanta: The Upanishads, ancient texts like the Brihadaranyaka, Chandogya, and Mandukya, assert that reality is advaita—one without a second. The apparent world of multiplicity (dvaita) arises not from any inherent rhythm but from ignorance, where the mind, veiled by maya (cosmic illusion), mistakes the indivisible Self (Atman) for a fragmented ego entangled in binaries. As the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (1.4.10) explains: "In the beginning, this (universe) was but the self, in the form of a person... He reflected and found nothing else but himself." Creation seems to unfold into duality—self/other, work/life—but it's all a projection of the one Self. Ignorance causes this split: We identify with the body-mind complex, chasing external balances or contrasts, unaware that the seer and the seen are identical. The Chandogya Upanishad (6.8.7) drives this home: "That which is the subtle essence, in it all that exists has its self. It is the True. It is the Self, and thou, O Svetaketu, art it." Duality, then, is not a dynamic force to harness but a delusion born of not knowing our true nature; transcending it through knowledge (vidya) dissolves all opposites, revealing unchanging bliss (ananda).
Koe's call for extremity rewards the brain with novelty and progress, making life "enjoyable" through neuroplasticity and dopamine resets. But Advaita would counter that this is still playing within the realm of the mind's fluctuations—vrtti—where joy depends on contrast, and thus remains conditional and fleeting. True zest isn't amplified by oscillating between highs and lows; it's the steady peace of the non-dual Self, beyond the need for stimulation. The Mandukya Upanishad describes four states of consciousness: waking (gross duality), dreaming (subtle duality), deep sleep (unity without awareness), and turiya (pure consciousness, transcending all). Duality dominates the first three due to ignorance, but turiya reveals no work-life divide because there's no "other" to balance against. Simulating adversity, as Koe suggests, might build resilience in the illusory world, but the Upanishads urge inquiry (vichara) and surrender (sharanagati) to pierce the veil: "Neti neti" (not this, not that), negating all dual phenomena until only the One remains.
#### The Illusion of Contrast: Why Duality's "Rhythm" Is Born of Ignorance
Koe draws on yin-yang to portray duality as essential—happiness inconceivable without sadness, each containing the seed of its opposite. This dynamic rhythm, he argues, turns bland existence into zestful appreciation: Rest deepens after accomplishment, food delights after restraint. Nature exemplifies it, from tides to sleep-wake cycles, and humans thrive by mimicking this through artificial scarcity (e.g., monk mode, cold exposure).
From the Advaita lens, however, this romanticizes the very ignorance the Upanishads seek to uproot. Duality isn't a cosmic dance but a cognitive error: Avidya causes the mind to project separation, like mistaking a rope for a snake in dim light. The Katha Upanishad (1.2.11) warns: "The good and the pleasant approach man; the wise chooses the good over the pleasant." Chasing contrasts—good/pleasant, work/rest—keeps one bound to samsara (the cycle of birth and death), where fulfillment is always "one more high" away. The Upanishads explain that ignorance veils the non-dual Brahman, leading to the ego's false sense of doership: "I work, I rest, I balance." In truth, as the Taittiriya Upanishad (2.1.1) states, "From this Self (Atman) comes space; from space comes air... up to the person (purusha)." All arises from and returns to the One; seeing duality as "rhythm" sustains the illusion, preventing the direct realization that ends all seeking.
Koe's examples—intense training for deeper recovery, solitude for richer connections—enhance worldly enjoyment but don't address the root dissatisfaction: the innate pull toward wholeness misdirected into dual pursuits. Advaita doesn't deny the world's rhythms; it reveals them as lila (divine play) within the non-dual, but insists on discrimination (viveka) to see beyond. Ignorance makes us addicts to contrast's highs, just as Koe notes modern "comfort drugs" (endless scrolling, junk food) numb us. Yet, the Upanishadic cure isn't more extremes but self-inquiry: "Who am I?"—dissolving the subject-object divide.
#### Beyond Comfort and Adversity: The Non-Dual Path to Lasting Freedom
Koe astutely critiques modern addictions—technology's dopamine traps that erode sensitivity, turning euphoria banal and progress undesirable. He prescribes "artificial adversity" to hunt like lions, not graze like cows: Deprive to appreciate, burst to rest, leveraging tools not for numbness but vitality.
Advaita agrees that modernity amplifies ignorance, scattering the mind further from Self-realization. But where Koe simulates scarcity to reclaim control within duality, the Upanishads teach that true control is freedom from the controller. Ignorance (avidya) isn't just partial knowledge but non-apprehension of the real—Brahman—as the Prasna Upanishad (4.9) implies: "That which sees, hears, smells, tastes... that is the Self." Duality fades when ignorance lifts; no need for manufactured contrasts because bliss is inherent, not earned. Practices like meditation on "Aham Brahmasmi" (I am Brahman, from Brihadaranyaka 1.4.10) transcend adversity altogether, revealing that work, life, pleasure, pain are mere appearances on the screen of consciousness.
In essence, Koe's framework empowers within the dream; Advaita's awakens from it. Balance ruins life by diluting potential, contrast enlivens it temporarily—but ignorance ruins it eternally by hiding the non-dual joy that's always here. The Upanishads invite: Discern, inquire, realize. Six months from now, you might not just zestfully contrast; you might abide in unchanging peace.
Thank you for reading this contrast. For deeper dives into Advaita, explore the Upanishads directly.
For anyone that resonates with this, I recommend Seneca's "On the Shortness of Life". It discusses the idea that life is only short for those who don't know how to spend it. People often spend too much time on shallow distractions, though life could be more fulfilling if you are more intentional and meaningful with your time.
Essentially: work hard, play hard!
There were plenty examples to define what a contrast and extreme life means. There is no definition of what balance means, simply equating it to mediocre.
The attack on the balance life was really an attack on the mediocre life. Mediocre has a very clear and narrow meaning while balance is more open to interpretation.
In my interpretation, the state when work, play, and rest blur together is the state of balance.
I might disagree on what balance means - for me, it doesn’t mean mediocre. That said, I mostly align with the principles in the article.
Great article. Little less aggressive than the usual style too (easier to take in).
I need to so something hard today - have succeeded too well at comfort engineering.
You got this Daniel!
What I find in your content is seemingly interesting and make sense but at the same time 9 to 5 job has become an integral part of most of the people in this world especially the middle class people they are used to it or they are made to perceive it as the way of life generations after generations and they seem to be quite happy with this mode of work life. No complaints whatsoever by and large it is seen by all of us. Apart from this there is little choice left before them to choose from, as better job, higher pay, comfortable work atmosphere devoid of office politics and other impediments, are out of their reach as those are associated with expensive higher education from famous universities are unaffordable for the so called middle class people, and to say the popular adage " happiness is a state of mind". Irrespective of social status or economic background of a person concerned. So if a particular person has a special traits he will be forced ( mentally) to persue his passion no matter how rich he may be from his present dispensation. That's rare but majority are entangled with 9 to 5, without any noticeable remores on their faces. Again I admit 9 to 5 is stereotype and most hackneyed but this is life , one has to accept it gracefully.
Thank you.
I agree with the Hunter-gatherer framing of environments. It forces thought, creativity, innovation, but only by choosing this path with the capability to select the most relevant "field" to the hunter, with a sincere willingness to expand risk/comfort zone to grow.
Far, far too has the social expectancy become about securing a "nice, comfortable life". And there is nothing inherently wrong with that aim; the economic-commercial dynamics of availability and desire necessarily allow for some level of material comfort, but we've also created new crisis's because of this.
Dan, I don’t believe this is out of balance - for someone like yourself.
If you think of balance in terms of systems theory, you can have extremes, but they need to be proportionate to your goals, values, health, and stage of life.
Balance isn’t a fixed point. Nor is it universal.
For the average person, extremes may not serve them well.
That doesn’t mean they’re destined for a mediocre life.
It just means their system is set up differently. They need a different approach.
Furthermore, if we don’t recognise that balance is crucial to longevity, burnout and breakdowns become inevitable - especially for people with more sensitive nervous systems.
And if we apply this to burnout…
The nervous system itself is a system.
Burnout is a breakdown in regulatory feedback.
It’s as much a biological experience as it is a mental one. Stress inputs overwhelm recovery outputs, and the system compensates until it can’t.
In my coaching practice, recovery is about restoring adaptive balance - not eliminating stress altogether or drowning it out with extremes.
If you think about life itself, we require balance-homeostasis not just to exist but to thrive.
A lot of people are sick because they’re chronically out of balance.
Thanks for writing…
What a catchy and interesting concept! Are you associating balance with stagnation? Balance isnt alway boring or a lack of stimulation. Nature, for instance is not harmony... it's a brutal life-and-death struggle, but it IS a balance.
I'm lucky. My wife took a new role in Switzerland in July, with a 100% salary increase.
I'm 60, so I took a leap of faith, and quit my butcher management job in London. It's been harder than I thought, going from working with over 100 colleagues on a daily basis.
Now, I work alone, writing 5 times a week.
The first 2 months have been hard. Like Dan, I train in the gym for 5 hours, across the week, the solitude has been hard.
At the end of August, life is has become more enjoyable. I read posts on Substack and linkedin, participating in conversations.
And I look forward to my wife coming home to share her day with me.
I learned early that balance is a myth. In the kitchen of five-star hotels, during my apprenticeship, there was no such thing as “moderation.” Ten hours of chaos, burns, knives, insults, then the crash into silence when the shift was over. In the hospital, it was the same. Hours of intensity, then a sudden flatline, a heart lifted from a chest. No middle ground. Only extremes.
Dan is right: what we call balance often just hides the fact that we hate what we’re doing. But I’d add this, extremes are not about chasing productivity. They are about feeling life at full voltage. Hunger makes food sacred. Silence makes noise bearable. Death makes every heartbeat taste like eternity.
The mediocre middle? I’ve seen it too many times. Wealthy clients with everything money can buy, sitting down to meals that had lost all flavor. Their days were full, but their lives were empty. Not because they worked too hard, but because they stopped feeling the contrast that makes life real.
Balance comforts. Extremes transform. And in the end, it’s not about choosing work over life or life over work, it’s about daring to live where both collide, raw and unfiltered.